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Zoolander in Paris, Ebay Sellers suck and movies I’ve watched this week.

12/03/2015 by L.J. Diva Filed Under: Movies & TV 4 Comments

Hansel and Gretel, oops, Hansel and Zoolander are back on the catwalk and ready for a new movie about really, really, really, ridiculously good looking people. Re-debuting their cold steel looks at the Valentino parade during Paris Fashion Week after 14 years, they took everyone by surprise and sent the internet into a meltdown.
 
eBay sellers suck sometimes. I bought what I thought was two coloured cover versions of the Nancy Drew books, Twin Dilemma and Winged Lion but the seller sent me white cover versions instead. I made a complaint and got a refund but that isn’t the point. Sellers by now should know full well NOT to post pics that do not show the goods they are selling. These books are fairly rare; you cannot just walk into a second hand book store and find them. I wanted them for my collection but sadly, won’t be getting them. And it’s a seller I’ve bought a tonne of books from and never had a problem with.
 
Watched a bunch of movies on Monday and four of them are from Russell Crowe.
 
Robin Hood: Following King Richard’s death in France, archer Robin Longstride, along with Will Scarlett, Alan-a-Dale and Little John, returns to England. They encounter the dying Robert of Locksley, whose party was ambushed by treacherous Godfrey, who hopes to facilitate a French invasion of England. Robin promises the dying knight he will return his sword to his father Walter in Nottingham. Here Walter encourages him to impersonate the dead man to prevent his land being confiscated by the crown, and he finds himself with Marian, a ready-made wife.
 
The Robin Hood I prefer overall will always be Men in Tights, I LOVE that movie but this one was pretty good too and there wasn’t much sexual garbage going on so you got a good story and the good guys won. 10 out of 10.
 
State of Play: A petty thief is gunned down in an alley and a Congressman’s assistant falls in front of a subway – two seemingly unrelated deaths. But not to wisecracking, brash newspaper reporter Cal McAffrey who spies a conspiracy waiting to be uncovered. With a turbulent past connected to the Congressman and the aid of ambitious young rookie writer Della Frye, Cal begins uprooting clues that lead him to a corporate cover-up full of insiders, informants, and assassins. But as he draws closer to the truth, the relentless journalist must decide if it’s worth risking his life and selling his soul to get the ultimate story.
 
Had a crush on Ben Affleck about ten years ago so to see three oscar winners go head to head is quite good. 8 out of 10. 
 
Mystery Alaska: When Mystery, Alaska’s amateur hockey team accepts a challenge to play against the New York Rangers, the entire population must put their petty differences aside and pull together as their small town becomes the center of a nationally televised event.
 
I never realised Russell was in this movie, it’s not a bad one and has funny and sad moments. 8 out of 10.
 
Romper Stomper: Nazi skinheads in Melbourne take out their anger on local Vietnamese, who are seen as threatening racial purity. Finally
the Vietnamese have had enough and confront the skinheads in an all-out confrontation, sending the skinheads running. A woman who is prone to epileptic seizures joins the skins’ merry band, and helps them on their run from justice, but is her affliction also a sign of impurity?
 
One of Russell’s first main movies and the one that made him catch the eye of Sharon Stone for The Quick and The Dead. It’s rough, and I hope to God we are not like that now. There’s a couple of sex scenes and seeing a butt naked tattooed Russell fucking is not an image I want in my brain. Nor the size of his package in his tightie whities. He was a big boy. 5 out of 10.
 
 
 
Dark Shadows: In the year 1752, Joshua and Naomi Collins, with young son Barnabas, set sail from Liverpool, England to start a new life in America. But even an ocean was not enough to escape the mysterious curse that has plagued their family. Two decades pass and Barnabas has the world at his feet-or at least the town of Collinsport, Maine. The master of Collinwood Manor, Barnabas is rich, powerful and an inveterate playboy…until he makes the grave mistake of breaking the heart of Angelique Bouchard, a witch, in every sense of the word. Angelique dooms him to a fate worse than death: turning him into a vampire and then burying him alive. Two centuries later, Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and emerges into the very changed world of 1972. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin and the dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family. 
 
I love the fact that Johnny Depp makes the movies he wants to make, regardless of how stupid they may be. To have enough money to be free to show your quirky side is fantastic. It’s just a pity that so many constantly attack him for doing stupid movies, and “oh, when’s he going to do a decent movie”. These morons don’t even get that they are seeing the side of Johnny that not many others have. The actual deep quirky person he is, doing the movies he loves and wants to do.
Chronicle: The shy, lonely and outcast teenager Andrew Detmer is bullied and has no friends at high-school and lives with his abusive alcoholic father and terminally ill mother. His cousin Matt Garetty drives him to school and invites Andrew to go to a party. They meet their schoolmate Steve Montgomery, overhear a noise and find a hole in a field. They decide to explore the underground and acquire super natural powers. The trio learns how to control their telekinetic abilities and Andrew becomes the most powerful. But he easily loses his temper and becomes dangerous while Matt tries to control him. When his mother needs medicine and Andrew does not have enough money to buy it, his darker side overcomes and he becomes a menace.
 
I wanted to see this movie when it first came out, but because I don’t go to cinemas I end up forgetting about them and only remember years later.
 
I thought this was similar to other movies and while I followed along there were parts that to me, were missing. I give it 6 out of 10.
 
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Comments

  1. Just Keepin It Real, Folks! says

    13/03/2015 at 4:36 pm

    I think I'm the only person on earth who thinks Ben Stiller is sexy. I even think he's hot in that get up he's wearin'. Guess I'm nuts!

    Reply
    • L.J. Diva says

      18/03/2015 at 12:45 am

      You're not nuts, he's just to your liking where as he's not to mine.

      Reply
  2. Kelley @ magneto bold too says

    17/03/2015 at 11:42 pm

    I was SO EXCITED when I saw Derek and Hansel on THE NEWS OMG I actually squealed with delight. Boo came running in thinking I was in pain or wanted a drink or something. So exciting. Can't wait.

    Reply
    • L.J. Diva says

      18/03/2015 at 12:46 am

      Kelley, a lot of people would have been excited, I was just interested in their catwalk turn and how the audience reacted.

      Reply

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