Okay peoples, the post you’ve all been waiting for. My thoughts on the scrags and hags of the Oscars. The hits, the misses, and all the air kisses, that’s what Hugh Jackman is made of.
Hugh and Beyoncy get jiggy wit it during the performance that Beyoncy oh so mimed! Oh no she didn’. Oh yes she did! How slack arse was that Beyoncy, you mimed during the friggen OSCARS. Shame on you, you tart. Can’t you cover yourself up for once?
Well here’s the tart and her handbag. I can sooo see why she hates Ange, look at who whe’s dating. John, ”I’ll screw anything that breathes and walks on two legs. Oh wait, that’s most of the women in Hollywood. I wonder if I can get Angelina next.” Mayer.
Sarah Jessica Parker. Stick ya tits back in, and do ya hair! We are soooo ova the same look you keep wearing.
Queen Latifah. So much for Jenny Craig, or was it Weight Watchers? You were supposed to lose some of that blubber from around ya middle. Looks like ya packed it on instead!
Natalie Portman wearing Rodarte. Sounds like an old artist’s name. I love the colour, hate the style. Get some colour around ya neck.
Australia’s Melissa George, although since she lives in the US, you can have her. This is a Dolce & Gabbana. Soooo not flattering. Get some meat on ya bones.
Kate Winslet, may have won the Oscar but bombed in the colour stakes. If this dress was in Blue, Pink, Red, Emerald or even Violet, it would have looked so much better. But a word of advice Katie poo, keep your opinions on Brad and Ange to yaself. Cause we’ll just hate ya for it.
Frieda Pinto, from Slumdog Millionaire, should have cut that bloody sleeve off her dress. It will look so much better without it.
Heidi hi hi Klum. Love the red, love the arm bling, don’t love the boring as batshit hair. Who did it? Seal?
Entertainment Tonight’s Mary Hart. An institution for 27 years. I wondered where Grandma’s curtain material went.
Beyoncy Nolls, Shannon’s sista, ha,ha, wore a dress designed by her motha! Cut the umbilical cord girl, and let that hair go.
Anne Hathaway. Where there’s a Hugh, there’s thaway. Ugh, bad joke I know. Eat some food fo God’s sake. And stay thaway from our Hugh!