L.J. Diva

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My health is sucking so much and I’m suffering from HOMO not FOMO!

03/08/2017 by L.J. Diva Filed Under: IMPORTED FROM LJDIVA.COM, JEWEL DIVAS STYLE, L.J. Diva, Life - Death - Health Leave a Comment

Last week I went and had a pelvic ultra sound to find out why I was in pain all the damn time. This week, I find out I’ve got a fibroid in my uterus. Just one more thing to add to the pile of jack shit in the fucked up city that is my life.
 
My hair has thinned by half over the last year, but had been thinning for about seven years before that. And I’m not just talking the hair on my head. My back and hip pain has flared, I cannot breathe, I cannot sleep, my knuckles are flaring up, swelling and cracking, I have multiple skin issues, a stupid back, my life is just getting shitter and shitter and no one gives a fuck.
 
I also had an eye test about two months ago because I haven’t had one for a while and it was time. I have floaties (little black cotton like things) which I knew, and found out the oily covering my eyes get are not from pollution, but something my eye was doing itself. He recommended glasses for reading so my vision was clearer, even though I technically didn’t need them.
 
My menstrual cycle has been stuffed since the late noughties. In fact, my menstrual cycle is so screwed that I’m have periods while taking the pill (basically a non-stop bloodfest that a vampire or zombie would love). That shit’s just not working anymore and I’ve been on three pills in three months to try and regulate it. My health has plummeted, my weight has been up and down, so has my pain. I have a ring of spider veins around both of my thighs that have popped up in the last few years and ache when I sit to work, and I have sections of them down my leg and around my ankles.
 
I’m only forty-fucking-three for fuck’s sake!
 
I also found out this week that the female doctor we have currently been seeing is leaving, leaving us with no female doctor to go to. On top of that, our original doctor retired, and the gyno stopped coming to the clinic. So that means finding another gyno and another clinic.
 
It’s in times like this, health wise, that I melt into despair at the shit life I have. Yes, there are people worse off than me. But there are also people better off than me. Neither is living my life, and I am not living theirs. I am living mine and mine is shit. So be it, it’s no one else’s business.
 
I don’t suffer from fomo (fear of missing out), I suffer from homo (hatred of missing out). I HATE missing out on all the things I see other women doing. Partners, children, families, holidays, homes, life, laughter, no stress… I’ve missed out on all of that and I hate it because I’m the dumb bitch stuck caring for my narcissistic mother while my five siblings fuck around having lives.
 
I hate seeing what other women have on Instagram and Facebook, but then, a lot of it’s probably as fake as shit, just like their sponsored posts.
 
My life sucks and that’s all there is to it. It won’t change unless I win lotto or a RSL Art Union house or mum dies or goes into a nursing home. There is only so much I can do to change it right here and now, but considering my body is falling apart due to the fucked up stress I’m under, it won’t change. I’ve added to my stress by setting up another business, but that’s in name only and I’ll tell you about that in a few months.
 
We’ve had four different companies fuck us around since April and since I’m the one mainly dealing with them the burden’s on me. Then there’s the hospital fucking mum around with her breast screen tests AND she needs two new hips…
 
I’m fucking over it and want it all to end.
 
How’s your health been?
 
 

With easter being over and me being sick with a migraine, what causes your headaches?

31/03/2016 by L.J. Diva Filed Under: IMPORTED FROM LJDIVA.COM, JEWEL DIVAS STYLE, L.J. Diva, Life - Death - Health 4 Comments

I cannot believe that my Easter post didn’t go through last week and is still in draft mode. 

Bugger! 

I was all set to wish you all a happy Easter and to eat buns and rabbits until you were sick.

Irony!

Now I’m sick!

But not because of all the Easter buns and chocolates. No siree Bob, its just the crappy migraines from being stressed over not getting my new books started, trying to run a business, a household and my mother as she’s been sick and vomiting again. Hasn’t gone back to hospital yet, and hopefully the vomiting is over, but that damn ulcer of hers needs to go and needs to go now. On top of that, her crippled back means she cannot move fast enough so a trip to the toilet always ends in a change of clothes. Sadly, she’s now in adult diapers which they give gastro patients in hospitals, otherwise I’d be doing a hell of a lot of washing.

Nope, I’ve never gotten migraines from food as many do, mine is from having a crooked back which makes my neck crooked so that puts pressure on my head which in turn becomes very susceptible to loud noise, bright lights and oppressive heat, all three of which wreak havoc on my brain. Right now, I have one across the back of my head and thankfully I’m seeing the chiro this arvo as I’m writing this on Thursday afternoon my time.

So, do you guys get migraines and do you know what causes yours or is it just one of those things?



Migraine’s suck fucking shit balls of hell and pain!!!!!

18/06/2015 by L.J. Diva Filed Under: IMPORTED FROM LJDIVA.COM, JEWEL DIVAS STYLE, L.J. Diva, Life - Death - Health Leave a Comment

I haven’t talked about my health for ages, if not years, and it’s a bit of a long story.

When I was 18 I was told I had a curve in my spine and that it was scoliosis. I’ve had horrible back pain since which turned into all sorts of other pain. Migraine, sciatica etc and even though I’ve been seeing a chiro for five years now, this week I am suffering from a migraine. But not just any migraine. This is a migraine that started with sciatica. 

I saw the chiro two weeks ago but half an hour later I had bad foot cramps. The sciatic nerve goes through three layers of butt muscle, down the leg and into the foot. The cramps are fucking horrendous and left my left leg aching a bit. A couple of hours later I had another cramp in my left foot and this time it left my leg aching for 24 hours. It was fucking horrible.

A week later that pain decided to move up to my right shoulder. Because when you’ve been going to a chiro you soon learn that when the bottom stuffs up, it stuffs up your whole back like the domino effect. So my right shoulder was aching and crunching.

Then, it decided to move up to the back of my head where most of my migraines happen these days. The left side hasn’t been as bad as it usually is and I did manage to get it to stop on Tuesday but it came back Wednesday and was now across the whole back of my head.

These migraines are fucking horrendous. It’s like your head cannot sit in any position without pain. It does not matter which way you turn it, the pain will not stop. And that is because my spine jacks up underneath my skull and creates pressure on the nerves.

Like I said, FUCKING HORRENDOUS.

I had hoped to have less pain by now, and overall I do. But when I get these kinds of migraines so much more comes with it. I can feel as sick as a dog, my eyes bulge out of their sockets, I cannot sit to work because I cannot hang my head to look down. Hell, even hanging the washing with my head up the other day made it ache, and it’s aching now as I’m typing.

And my chiro knows all about when I’ve been hanging my head because she knows the issues. 

So, a couple of weeks ago I went looking for a laptop lifter. I have no idea if they’re actually called that but that’s the name I gave it. I went looking in several stores and no one had any so I logged into ebay when I got home and bought the cheapest. It’s actually a cooling pad for pcs but I’m using it purely for the lifting abilities to get my pc up higher to my face so my neck is not craning downwards all the time. Sadly, when I’m writing, my neck and head are down, so that sucks as a writer who writes in long hand and not straight onto the computer.

Have you guys needed to get one of these or even put your pc up higher to prevent mother fucking neck pain and migraines?

 

Laroche-Posay’s ABCDE Method to Checking Skin Cancer

20/11/2014 by L.J. Diva Filed Under: IMPORTED FROM LJDIVA.COM, JEWEL DIVAS STYLE, L.J. Diva, Life - Death - Health Leave a Comment

As a person who has had several skin cancers cut off thanks to having hundreds of moles, 6-monthly check-ups are important.
Here’s the check list from Laroche, showing the ABCDE Method of checking your moles.

Sudden appearance of new moles

8 times out of 10

Melanomas occur outside of pre-existing moles. It is therefore important to prioritise identifying the appearance of new pigmented lesions.

Changes in an existing mole

Melanoma can occur on moles you already have, causing them to change rapidly, either growing, changing shape, colour, becoming itchy or bleeding involuntarily.
 

STOP believing your personal safety is someone else’s issue!

25/09/2014 by L.J. Diva Filed Under: Human Behaviour, IMPORTED FROM LJDIVA.COM, JEWEL DIVAS STYLE, L.J. Diva, Life - Death - Health Leave a Comment

Last year I saw blog posts that pointed some things out that I will repeat here. I also think they are stupid.
 
“Don’t walk home alone. Learn self-defence. Mind your drink. Don’t get drunk. It’s for your safety. Subtext: not getting raped, not getting murdered – that’s your responsibility”.
 
It is actually, and women who keep denying these things need to pull their heads out.
 
Why is taking responsibility for your own health and safety such an issue for some women?
 
Why do you all want to make it an “excuse” and not a personal rule?
 
Why do you all rally against it and believe it’s a “man” thing to just control you and shame you?
 
If you don’t understand that YOUR safety is YOUR responsibility and have never listened to the cops tell us ways of protecting ourselves, like watching our drinks, never walking through dark parks and alleys just because it’s quicker, parking under or near lights, then YOU have seriously stupid ideas about who is going to protect you if something happens.
 
CHOOSING to go home with a guy you don’t know is YOUR CHOICE. CHOOSING to drink until your drunk is YOUR CHOICE, being stupid enough to think men can control themselves is YOUR CHOICE.
 
Never mind the fact that when you get drunk your risk of anything is higher. Stumbling down a flight of stairs and breaking a leg. Stumbling off a gutter and smashing your head on the ground. Stumbling onto the road and being hit by a car. 
 
And do you really want pictures of you spewing your guts up in the gutter with your hair in your face and your dress or skirt over your head on social media?
 
What will it take for you to look after yourself? Embarrassment? Bodily harm? Death?
 
“At the end of the day, hiding behind the safety excuse is not going to fly. What it says is, if you get hacked to pieces by a serial
killer, it is your fault for going home with him. It’s not the serial killers fault. You provoked him. If you get raped when wearing clothes that can subjectively be called provocative, well you were really just asking for it, so stop lying, you big liar. Don’t you know that men are unable to stop themselves?”
 
STOP BEING BLOODY STUPID!
 
“I find this idea that men have no control over their sexual desire really offensive. Like all men feel entitled to use the female body for whatever end, regardless of consent. I call bullshit on that one. Sure, men AND women need more education about consent and healthy relationships. But we are all human beings with the capacity to engage in self-control and a behaviour I like to call not murdering”
 
Again STOP BEING BLOODY STUPID.
 
Women are in such denial about the world and believing that men will never take advantage is a very stupid thing to think. Just because you may have great guys in your life does not mean there are not millions more who will take advantage and do what they want when they want to women. 
 
You only have to look at Egypt and India for a start. Arseholes like that CHOOSE to NOT control themselves, they see it as a way of life because women are nothing to them. Women are kicking bags, dirt under their feet, objects to fuck and rape at their own leisure and God help them if they fight and complain because the police and government rape them all over again.
 
And you certainly can’t use the “what I was wearing” excuse in those countries because so many are covered head to toe and clearly the males don’t give a fuck what you are wearing even though they bang on about it in their religion.
 
Yeah, women need to give up all responsibility to men because it’s the “man’s” problem that they are violated. *rolls eyes in sarcasm*
 
Women, especially young women, need to wake up to themselves and the world and understand THEIR safety is THEIR business and responsibility, and stop giving it up to someone else to save them. You need to save and protect yourself because no one else will.
 
I am really sick and tired of females banging on this drum. You all sound so stupid and uneducated when you claim no responsibility for your own health and safety and want to lay it all back on men. The consequences of OUR actions are OURS alone. You CHOOSE to do what you do, YOU suffer the consequences. It’s your own CHOICE, it’s your own fault. Period!
 
The old “for every action is a reaction”, “for every choice there is a consequence” is actually true. Whatever choice you make, be it right or wrong, has a consequence and a reaction, be it right or wrong. That’s the way the world works, deal with it.
 
Men are responsible for THEIR actions, just as you are responsible for yours.
 
That’s life, deal with it!
 
I am so fed up to the eyeballs with excuses women come up with. You all need to grow up and take a damn good look at life because it sucks shit and is not fair. Life is not fair, life is not nice, so grow a brain and get a damn good grip of your own responsibilities and be mature for once.
 
I’m a women who’s had a gutful of stupid women. I’m a woman who takes responsibility for my health and safety. I’m a women who feels like punching quite a few women in the head for being so stupid. I’m a woman who is so sick and tired of the excuses women use to not stand up and take responsibility for their own actions and choices.
I am OVER stupid people.
 

Suicide or natural death. What is more tragic?

14/08/2014 by L.J. Diva Filed Under: Celebrities, IMPORTED FROM LJDIVA.COM, JEWEL DIVAS STYLE, L.J. Diva, Life - Death - Health Leave a Comment

With the suicide of Robin Williams and the death of Lauren Bacall this week it takes me back over the last few years of suicides and deaths in the world of celebrity.

Of course celebrity deaths will be in the forefront, they are people who are known the world over thanks to decades of movies on our screens and social media on our phones and tablets.

But which is more shocking and tragic?

The natural death of someone with who is sick or dying anyway, the shock death that happens in an instant that no one was expecting, or the death by hand of someone who chooses death over life?

When people are already sick or dying from a disease, their death is not a shock to me. It’s completely understandable and pretty much expected. When it’s from a massive heart attack or some other condition, it’s unexpected in it’s speed, but not in it’s conclusion when the person is of age. Older people are expected to have more health problems, young people are not.

When it’s a shock death, such as Paul Walker, who was here one moment and gone the next, it is a massive shock. It wasn’t expected, it wasn’t even thought about because you don’t think of people dying young. You think of them living forever, or at least until old age.

And then there are those who kill themselves. Last year it was Glee’s Cory Monteith, Rizzoli and Isles’ Lee Thompson Young, and Gia Allemand from The Bachelor. Those three suicides were within a month or so of each other and they say it always comes in threes. It certainly did.

I’ve never had full blown depression but have been depressed. I have thought about the way I would kill myself if I did it but have absolutely no inclination to do so. They are just thoughts about a serious subject. I do know that if I was sick or dying then yes, I may want to end it all early. I can also understand the immense emotional and physical pain one must have to chose to end it all over dealing with the issues causing their grief.

But can losing a job, or money, or busting up with a partner really bring on the idea of killing yourself? Can a past or current addiction to drugs or alcohol really make you chose death over life? How depressed must one be to even think that ending their life is the better alternative. Hollywood is full of shrinks and treatment centres. Many of these celebs had tried for years or decades to fix themselves, but failed, so what does it say about their state of mind. That they still chose death over life. Over the love of their partner and children. 

How can such treatment not work? Unless their mind was already set. Death was the only choice and God help anyone or anything getting in their way to achieving it. It’s sad. Sad that someone thinks death is better. 

We look at them and think their life is so great. They have jobs on high rating tv shows, would be making decent money to live on, living the high life basically. The life many of us only dream about. And yet, somewhere in their mind they’re telling themselves it’s not good enough. They’re not good enough. Life isn’t good enough, and to hell with everyone who cares about me and loves me. I’m going to kill myself and there’s no ifs, buts or maybes about it.

To me suicide is selfish, especially when there are children involved. The death of Peaches Geldof back in April showed that the lure of drugs was more powerful than her children. She had dreamed of dying like her mother. She made that happen through her choices.

Now Robin Williams has allowed his depression to get the better of him. Another celebrity, another human being who chose to stop the pain over dealing with it.

Is suicide a shock? When you know that someone has had depression, substance abuse, dealt with internal grief for years if not decades, does it really shock you when they chose to kill themselves instead?

I wasn’t shocked over his death. In fact, I felt almost nothing. Maybe because I’m still trying to figure out what I do feel. But feeling nothing over someone dying is not a crime, and is no one’s business. All I thought was, who’s next? It comes in threes and Lauren was next. There was also some old actor who had just started in Game of Thrones, but just like when Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett died at the same time Farah barely got a mention because she wasn’t near the stratosphere of Michael. Ed McMahon was a week earlier. So the actor from GOT was bypassed.

It always comes in three.

So what is more tragic? Someone killing themselves or someone dying from old age. Someone dying from health issues or the totally unexpected demise in plane or car crashes, drowning or shooting?

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2023 AND BEYOND ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, L.J. DIVA.

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