For those who don’t know about this column you can see the rest of the letters here…

If you have any letters for Jewels, then email me and I’ll post it here with my advice. Or just ask in your reply.

So I got this letter from Anonymous and I have a sneaking suspicion it’s from someone I just wrote about below.

Dear Jewels,

I broke up with my girlfrie, uh, fiance, last week in favour of my career. My friends and family are very supportive and I’m glad I have them. However I don’t know what to do about my ex. The bitch threw her engagement ring down the toilet and has put her Aston, uh, car that I bought her up for sale.

She’s been a real thorn in my side and all the rubbish she’s involved in has almost ruined my life. And now she may be able to claim half of the penthouse we’ve been living in.

I don’t know what to do Jewels, can you help.

Answer –

Well Mich, uh, Anon,

You’ve done the right thing by dumping the bitch and getting on with your life. As for the ring and the car, if you can’t get them back then sue the bitch for the cost, and thank God you’ve gotten her out of your life.

I received an email today asking for advice. The letter wasn’t signed, but I have a fair idea who it’s from.

Question–

Dear Jewels,

I don’t know what to do. My husband is an absolute control freak and won’t let me do anything without him. I couldn’t even come here to Australia without him packing everything up and coming with me and our three year old daughter. Who’s such a cutie. Anyway, what do I do?

He belongs to a freakishly horrible cult like religion who believes they are all aliens. They keep making me take stupid courses and I hate it. I want to leave the religion and my marriage, but I’m afraid my husband will put an alien curse on me, or take my daughter away. He’s very rich and well known in America you know.

Anyway, what do I do? I need help! HELP ME!!!!

Anon.

Answer –

Dear Anon,

LEAVE HIM NOW! RUN AWAY AND NEVER GO BACK! Seriously, if you put up with that shit then you’ve got problems. You’ve got money of your own Katie, oops, Anon, why stay with an idiot control Scientolofreak like he is?

Seriously, leave now!

————

So that’s my reply to Anon, God help her in the future, married to that freak!

Hi all, I’ve got a letter from a person who wants to know how to deal with bitches.

Question –

Dear Jewels,

I’m a member of a forum, but have not been treated nicely. How do I deal with it, and the bitches that come with it!

Anon.

Answer –

Dear Anon,

tell them they’re all bitches and stand up for yourself! If you don’t want to be there anymore, leave, but sneak back and have the occassional look when they’re not looking.

Set them straight about who’s boss of you, and pm them if you have to!

Give them what for!

Jewels xxoo

———

So that’s my reply to anyone who belongs to a site or forum that is treated harshly. Tell them what you think but make sure you only do it when you’re ready to leave.

p.s – this situation is entirely fake and has no bearing on real life ….. lmao.

It’s time for my Agony Aunt column again, so if you’ve got a question you need an answer to, maybe Aunty Jewels can help!

I received another letter from a reader, and since it coincided with my tirade about the nutritionist and the Atkins diet, I’ll post it.

Dear Jewels,

I’m always hungry. I eat and eat and nothing fills me up. What do I do?

Anon.

Answer:

Dear Anon,

first of all, make a diary of what you eat over a two week period. Take a good look at what you eat, and see what you can cut out or change for a healthier version. If you want bread, choose a rye or wholegrain. Cut out things that make you feel sick or bloated. Change to diet soft drinks or diet cordials. Eat a good healthy breakfast of lots of protein, a filling lunch, healthy snacks, and a nice but small dinner, or tea as I call it. Change things slowly, if you don’t want to cut everything out at once. One thing per week, and see how you feel. And if you need chocolate, go for the small bars that are only a mouthful or two. It will give you what you want, and not be too much.

Hope this helps.

I’m starting a new category / column for all to email about. I’m going to be an Agony Aunt. For those that don’t know what that is, think of an advice column in a paper. In some countries, it’s an Agony Aunt. So peoples, tell Aunty Jewels what your problem is and ask me some questions.

I’ll get you started –

Question: I’m related to Kevin Rudd, Australia’s Prime Minister. What should I do?

Answer: Kill yourself!

There, see, that was simple. Why don’t you give it a try and we’ll have some fun!